For some reason, fashion has come full circle and not since the days of the Wild West has the beard been so popular. Call it what you will your face fuzz, your chin strap, your long whiskers or your cheek pubes but over these last few years the beard is back in the saddle again. Like a woman’s handbag or the right earrings the beard has become a man accessory as well as his man card. Anything from the stubbly 5 o’clock shadow to the long lumberjack-esque soup catcher is now acceptable at even the smartest of dinner parties, as well as screaming out to any possible partner that you are so incredibly manly much like Chuck Norris or the Chuckle brothers (If you are reading this in anywhere but the UK look up that last reference, I’ve met them they are really like that.)
As a 20 year old, stylish, acceptance craving, spotlight hogging comedian and public figure I don’t want to be left out so I’ve set about the task of growing my own patch of facial hair. For any man or particularly butch woman who has yet to attempt to grow a beard let me tell you it’s not as easy as it seems. If you take pride in your appearance or love to keep your hair trimmed and styled imagine doubling it up. That’s right the beard takes as much effort to maintain, you have to wash it, brush it, moisturise it, tell it you love it, read it bed time stories, feed it Mexican food and trim it too. And after all this care the beard can be a lot like a teenager, temperamental.
One day most likely a day when you aren’t leaving the house, you’ve got nothing to do but eat and watch an entire series of television on Netflix, your beard while make you look like the embodiment of handsome as well as the very figure of manliness, you’ll catch yourself in mirror and go “Oh my God I’m being robbed by Christian Grey from 50 Shades of Grey” and then you’ll think why do I know who that is but still you’ll be proud. The very next day, the day you’re receiving that award or attending that ceremony or maybe the day your performing in front of a crowded room that includes your ex-girlfriend because your friend accidentally on purpose mentioned how much of a big deal you were on the Leeds comedy scene, your beard while make you look like a crazy homeless man, you’ll look like Peirce Brosnan in the beginning of Die Another Day and there will be nothing you can do about it but go home and contemplate never leaving the house again.
Saying this after two months a beard becomes like a pet, some days it’s annoying but you love it and couldn’t imagine living without it. Give this new accessory a go, at the very least it doesn’t cost anything.
Words: DB Mitchell.